My friends didn't realize they were sitting by him (one is a new friend and has never met him, the other had only met him a couple of times). They couldn't move because every spot was taken, small pool and very busy yesterday.
Not going to the pool is just not an option, in my mind. My kids love this place, it's what we have always done, it's paid for (and I'm not rich, unlike the X). He could literally do ANYTHING he wants to, money is no object for him).
My friend overheard him talking on the phone, asking the mother of his son's friends if they could stay longer. WTF?
One might think he wanted to see me, but I think there's a different, more plausible scenario:
He really doesn't have any empathy for my feelings, even though he must know that I'm upset (we just slept together three weeks ago and I just went No Contact with him two weeks ago and I told him I was reading his email one week ago, so he knows that I know he is *in love* with someone else).
He really isn't bothered by my presence, because his feelings for me have evaporated, if there ever really were any feelings.
He wants to prove to me and himself that he has totally moved on.
He is a CREEP and selfish and inconsiderate.
To make matters worse, my children were absolutely thrilled to see him. They glommed all over him, asked me if we could go to his house afterwards, asked if we could have a sleepover with his son. This was our activity for the last six months or so. They absolutely don't understand what's going on.
His son is less emotional and friendly than my kids. Three weeks ago (night of my psycho date/hookup with him) XABF told me he (his kid) was upset about not seeing my kids anymore, but he didn't think he was upset about not seeing ME (he liked me but wasn't attached).
He didn't seem to have any compassion for what MY kids might be feeling (he was much more involved with them than I was with his child). My children have suffered much more loss than his (dad moved out of town when we divorced and doesn't have much contact).
I was lying in bed ruminating and realizing that this is just more proof of his shallow emotions, lack of empathy, and self-serving, self-righteous behavior. He thinks that since I don't have any RIGHTS to him, he has no RESPONSIBILITY toward me (or my children).
I know I'm not supposed to try to mind read or focus on him but this just really set me back. I know what his parenting schedule is, loosely, so I guess I could try to guess when they might go swimming and avoid the pool. But I don't want to do that! This is my pool, it's where I'm making new friends, it's healthy for my kids and me.
I did get up this morning, pray like crazy, clean the house, water my new garden, and tell myself I will be okay.
(And I do have a really cute new swimsuit, lol. I'm sure he was lusting over me, since that seems to be all I really meant to him. I guess I can laugh at how uncomfortable THAT must have been for him).
More forward momentum. Sorry for the novel, processing, processing, processing.
Tired of processing!
Last edited by nowwhat; 06-21-2009 at 06:41 AM.