prodigal

So he doesn't believe he is "really" an alcoholic because he controls it. For a period of time, he controls it. Then he goes back. It's called alcoholism. And his denial is a large part of what oils the cogs that keep that addiction machine in motion.

He's self-centered, self-centered, and expects you to meet his expectations. That's what the disease is about. It's YOUR fault. It's YOUR problem. It's YOUR failure as a wife. Blah, blah, blah ... B-U-L-L.

I spent about four years trying to figure out my AH: "Why did he do that?" "Why did he say that then do something completely different?" "What did he mean when he said that to me?" "What did I do to make him so angry?" I discovered this was a total waste of my precious time, AND it also kept the focus off of the real bottom line: "What the heck is wrong with me?"

Then I got seriously into counseling and Al-Anon. I do not figure into the equation of my AH's disease. I found that having expectations of him acting like a "normie" was hurting me; not him.

Being manipulated and disrespected is something you do not deserve. Consider taking the opportunity to find out why you've arrived where you are today in your relationship.