I left my 27 year old marriage just on 20 years ago as my husband's drink demented behavior was finally getting abusive, insane and intolerable. I have been in a relationship (of sorts) for just on 18 years, but have never lived as defacto or considered marriage. My exH divorced me 18 months after I walked out, but I couldn't see grounds for annulment so have been in limbo ever since. Frankly the whole mess sucks.. My best friend had her H desert her and 3 kids ( for his 25 YO GF) around the same time as I left home and she has led a totally celibate life with no male contact for the last 20 years.
Her hubby is doing fine with new family, she has pulled her life together but it has been lonely for her. I didn't ask for what I got and she sure wasn't expecting what she got, but we are punished as if we had committed great sin.