Pfffffft
I'm angry because I couldn't find an 'enabler", that's why I drank!
I was however, "overserved" frequently, does that count?
I am being humorous, but the bottom line is alcoholics drink "until the wheels fall off", anything that keeps the alcoholic from "the wheels falling off" or the consequences of his own actions is enabling.
One day told to stop the enabling, and when I finally did something to stop it, told I was horrible for how I treated him.
Two things come to mind here:
First, who told you that you were being "horrible"?
If it was the practicing alcoholic of course he is going to say that, movement towards mental health in what has been a mentally unhealthy situation is ALWAYS met with resistance. Hey, you are upsetting the apple cart here man!!!!
Second, I had to learn what the difference between "protecting the alcoholic from their own consequences" and "punishing the r@t b@stard", early on I would "punish" and think I was setting up boundaries or "not enabling".
I still get confused about that, search a bit in my past for some "tit for tat" posts, I thought I was setting boundaries, when in reality I was trying to make someone else feel the same pain I was feeling by doing exactly to them what I had perceived they had "done to me"
I do get offended by some things, it's pretty apparent by my posts here which posts make my fur go up, but sometimes I get offended if something hits too close to the mark, sometimes I get offended because something is offensive, but it's always a good idea to ask myself why I am offended.
If I protect an alcoholic from the consequences of their drinking, I am enabling.
Hey, at least you aren't a male alcoholic on a board mostly populated by women that have been seriously harmed and most foully used by alcoholic men. I'd take "just" enabler any day
