lovemykids

After posting about the rehab center regarding a few incidents and weighing everything down in my mind as well as calling my ads case worker who is such a great person and has helped my ad so much I have decided to leave her be, meaning to stay put where she is at this rehab center.

I honestly thought that after almost 4 months there that she was ready to come home in a few weeks she seemed miraculously "Healed", totally back to my girl before drugs entered our lives.

I do not agree with everything that is being done/said in this rehab but I called to inquire and complain. I was told that they make mistakes too and learn from them and that this would not happen again by said case workers.

I also thought that if this place was so bad they would have been shut down long ago and not have the success rate in which they have.

That being said, I told my ad this evening that she needs to stay there and do/be the best that she can and learn on how to cope etc once she is out of there. If she cannot resist the urge to "blow" up out of anger,to not listen to the people trying to help her, and to not grow in a positive way then how will she be able to resist the urge to use when she is out on her own or at home?

As hard as it was for me tonight when I talked to ad I told her that she is not ready to come home and she needs to work with the program. She cried so hard and asked me if I really thought that she was that bad of a person, she was sobbing in hysterics actually. I told her no, she was not a bad person but she needs to focus more on her recovery to get better 100% not 50% or even 99% but 100%. She told me she is not going to last there and I told her that her dad and I were not going to get her again for another home reflection for running away etc, she said that she would end up in lock-up (jail) for a minimum of 30 days. I told her that it is up to her, her choice to make sure that she doesn't end up in lock-up then. She left the phone crying and walked away, her case worker had heard her in hysterics and ran over picked up the phone and I told him that I think she is on the verge of a breakdown and he agreed so we hung up so he could go to see her. I have never ever heard her cry like that, not ever.

I miss my daughter, I love her as a mother loves her child unconditionally, I love her so much that I am feeling this pain, I love her enough so that she can live.