View Single Post
Old 06-02-2009, 05:38 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
sfgirl
Member
 
sfgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 679
I still feel knee deep in recovery at 8 months. I felt like I was drowning in it until six months. I don't think it is strange to have exaggerated emotions or feel like you are having exaggerated emotions. Five months might seem like a long amount of time but if you compare it to how long you were drinking it is probably minuscule. Things take time. I rarely felt "good" in the first six months of sobriety. I am only beginning to feel comfortable in my sober skin now.

There is one more thing I wanted to say. This struck me in your post:

Since then its been a real struggle to keep any sort of motivation and follow through. I keep coming up with these great goals and plans and will work them for a bit only to give up within a two week period.
This is what I used to do pre-quitting drinking. It was a large source of my unhappiness which is the only reason I am bringing it up. I was always trying to actively fix my life and be someone who I wasn't. However, we might be talking about different things. You might just be talking about lacking general motivation which is more indicative of depression. I am more referring to how I would make myself have plans and goals because I thought that would make me more valid. Then I would try and carry them through but they weren't really me and so I would never finish. I was trying to fix myself outside in; now I am trying inside out. In any case in recovery I have made a major effort to be gentle with myself no matter what. If I feel unmotivated, or tired, or cranky, I let myself be that way and it is okay. I think this is a very important part of recovery— learning to accept myself as I am right now.
sfgirl is offline