I don't know you, but I know what you're describing... and I am sorry you feel that way, because it is crushing.
It sounds to me like your loneliness is a big factor here. Could you join a photo club or hiking club and meet new people? It seems that's where you find some of your 'point.'
After years of ducking phone calls and turning down invitations, it surprised me (though in hindsight it shouldn't have) to find myself in the basement (literally, and mentally) all alone. There's a way out of that basement, but you gotta take those steps to get up and out. Phoning a friend just to say hi, or making idle chit-chat with a stranger at the coffee shop has gone a long way to me just feeling less alone in the world. Or just look up at the sun, close your eyes, and smile. Or, if it's your thing, go to meetings.
It can feel like pulling teeth in the beginning, but I truly believe that mental well-being has a lot to do with regular positive social interaction. I hope you're doing better today, and wish you the best of luck going forward!