Callie

I agree with the others - this IS progressive. My AH was very highly functional as an addict for about 10-12 years. I had NO clue he was using. My family had NO clue. Drugs NEVER entered my mind until the last 4-5 years. I knew I was beating my head against a brick wall with him and his behavior, but I didn't know that drugs was the driving force behind his behavior.

I also agree that you need to have a plan. I spent the last year getting my finances in order, things in my name, out of my name that needed to be. See a lawyer also. Consultations are free.

What started off with Darvocet/Vicodin/Percocet with my AH progressed to Oxy for MANY years. He'd sprinkle some Dilauded or Phentenal patches in there. He'd eat Xanax like candy. He's tried about every single drug out there (except Meth) but Opiates are his DOC. After his habit got to expensive it escalated to heroin and shooting it, snorting it. Heroin is in the same drug class as Oxy, but much cheaper (if you can call drugs cheap.) Being honest here... to me that has always been a 'junky, dirty' drug. It's disgusting. But progressively it's the next step up. Start out at low end pain pills, escalate to oxy (very expensive) your habit becomes so out of control and expensive you go to heroin. Never ever in my wildest dreams did I think my life would take this turn. E V E R.

Trust your instincts and DO NOT discount what others here are telling you. I learned ALOT from the SA board early on when I came here. My AH had the wool pulled so far over my eyes it was pathetic. They set me straight on what he was really doing. BUT anytime I'd go to my AH armed with info from here he'd feed me a line of BS to discount everything I was hearing here. "Callie, I'm not like that, Callie they don't know what they're talking about, Callie I'm not that bad, C'mon callie you know I'd never be like that." All of it was a lie and even though the good people on here were giving me GREAT info, my AH would be sure to have an answer for anything and everything and why the info didn't pertain to him. SR was a huge threat to my AH and his addiction. Keep reading, learning, asking questions and PLEASE take the advice of those who have walked before you. I can 100% assure you that they know what they're talking about. Your AH will discount everything because it threatens his addiction. There's a great thread that BV started on SA board. I'll bump it for you.

Do not think that you're wrestling with a kitty cat here. You're in a lions den right now. I know how it feels to not believe it or think we're over reacting. I know what it feels like to look into the eyes of your AH and hear the words you want to hear and want to believe. That's what addicts do when actively using. They lie. They're very good at it.

When my AH stepped off of a plane in March from 40 days of rehab he was a different man. More confident, more respectable acting, more self esteem etc. It was then that I realized that all along I've lived with an Addict. My H had been overtaken by AH for so long that that's how I came to know him - AH. If that makes sense.

I'll be the first to tell you that recovery isn't that grand either without some hard work on both your part and your addicts part. Without work on both sides, trust will never be there for you. Ever.

Another thing - before I'd ever dealt with addiction I always thought of addicts as gross, dirty, lowlifes (sorry, being honest here). If you would see my AH he's very good looking, well dressed, in shape (as in shape as an addict can be I guess). He does not look like a drug addict. But it is. A very hardcore one at that. As his addiction progressed and he got sicker, I followed him and got sicker as well. As his addiction progressed, my codependency progressed. Hugs to you, it's tough.