Originally Posted by
Hopeful Still 
Like everyone else, he is facing uncertainty with his job in the automotive industry, very stressed, etc. He is very irritable, flies off the handle, and I really am suspicious. Everyone says have a plan. Not sure what to do if he is using again. I can't put my kids through a change of schools again. Almost divorcing really took its toll on them, and now every time we argue they think we are going back down that road. We assure them that everyone argues and it doesn't mean they're divorcing.
I guess now I have to figure out how to live with him if he is using. I have resigned myself from searching his car, looking for pills. Not sure that is helpful to me or the situation. Anyone have advice on living with addiction, making the choice to stay? I am really trying to "let go, let God," but if he is using again we will surely go down with him. After all, it costs money to use. And he always turns his paranoia and anger around on me and makes me look like the one who is "irrational" and "pissed off all the time." Hesitate to talk to my family about this ... don't want to worry them. Trying to deal with it on my own. Help...
This mind set scare the heebie jeebies out of me!!!!
Please go back and read posts by Callie then try to answer some of these questions.
Which would be more traumatizing to your children. Going thru the upset of a divorce and all that entails OR watching their Mom sit back and watch their Dad self destruct?
- This is a progressive thing and it will get worse. You might not be able to keep them from having to change schools and leave friends if it got to the point that you lost your home due to all the money going to drugs or if he couldnt hold down a job due to drug use.
You say that you just have to be ready to deal with him using... are you ready to deal with him using when he progresses to shooting heroin?
- Ask on the addicts board about how many of the H users started out using pain pills, many of them for legit pain issues. Part of the progressing of this disease is tolerance to what they are taking so that they take more and then move up the opiate ladder.
I am NOT saying that you should run for the hills but I AM saying please dont take the phrase of let go and let God mean that you will stay right there hoping that he fixes your husband. The plan the universe has may have nothing to do with fixing your husband. The plan may be to get you and the kids where you need to be.