Hi, if I could remember where I posted what I remember posting I would ask why it was deleted but I don't remember it what section it was.
Been a bad week feeling very alone, it appears my daughter wants nothing to do with me other than the obligatory birthdays and holidays and that's her choice but it hurts and I should understand heck I left home at 17 and left the state my parents were in and I went years w/o seeing them and when my mom died last year I hadn't seen any of my family in 10 years so I should understand but my daughter lives just 15 miles away and works within 5 miles of where I work but she has a very busy stressful job and she has a home/husband/kids/and her own life outside of work so there's no room for me there's no bad blood between us that I know of but when we do get together we talk very little but I always thought that's cause we are both quiet people. So I'm just feeling very alone and upset that people just don't get this whole sobriety thing they think it's easy and no big deal or they think ok you've proved you can go w/o now have a drink so I just spend all my time alone and I can't sleep at night because my body hurts too much and they can't figure out what's wrong with me they say it's possibly nerve damage from back surgery and/or a car accident I was in but there isn't any they can or will do about it, they'd give me pain medication but because of what I did to my liver I can't take the pain med so I sit around wondering what the heck am i living for I'm not suicidal - tried that and failed-but what the heck is my purpose in this world I don't feel like I have one I have no friends daughter doesn't need me I just go to work-go home-and nothing- and I can't do much of anything else because I can't stand or walk for more than 30 minutes in a day w/o being in extreme pain and being around people wears me out/stresses me out and I start having anxiety attacks. Other than that life is just flippin wonderful.