Yes, have 2 kids, ages 10 and 13. My husband and I separated about a year and a half ago. I told him before that I wouldn't raise my kids in an alcoholic/drug abusing environment. The kids and I moved in with my parents and lived there for about 4 months. Kids had to change schools, and it was a very tumultuous time for them.
We had divorce papers just weeks away from being filed, and he really seemed to turn himself around and was doing great. We hadn't gone to any sort of counseling, so we decided to reconcile and go to counseling together. We did go, but not for long. He was doing okay, but then only 6 months after we moved back home, kids back in old schools, etc., he was using heavily. He did the suboxone and has been about a year clean now, to my knowledge.
Like everyone else, he is facing uncertainty with his job in the automotive industry, very stressed, etc. He is very irritable, flies off the handle, and I really am suspicious. Everyone says have a plan. Not sure what to do if he is using again. I can't put my kids through a change of schools again. Almost divorcing really took its toll on them, and now every time we argue they think we are going back down that road. We assure them that everyone argues and it doesn't mean they're divorcing.
I guess now I have to figure out how to live with him if he is using. I have resigned myself from searching his car, looking for pills. Not sure that is helpful to me or the situation. Anyone have advice on living with addiction, making the choice to stay? I am really trying to "let go, let God," but if he is using again we will surely go down with him. After all, it costs money to use. And he always turns his paranoia and anger around on me and makes me look like the one who is "irrational" and "pissed off all the time." Hesitate to talk to my family about this ... don't want to worry them. Trying to deal with it on my own. Help...