Bam,
I just couldn't resist responding to you because you titled this thread, "What's the point?" I used to ask that question to my doc when I was at my worst in depression after my mom died and I was self medicating to the point of losing function.
Do you know what he would say? He would say, "Wait a minute. Who ever told you there was a point?" Didn't help too much at the time. But, now that some time has gone by, I get it. I am in a different place. I changed my work. Went from something I hated to something I love. That helped immensely.
Point is, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I just hope you don't drink yourself back to insanity. I hope you find peace and I wish you knew what that was for you.