Katie...I don't think you are in denial...I think that you have a great understanding of your situation...unfortunately you are more comfortable where you are than where sobriety will lead you.
I will disagree with your statement that you are hopeless...nobody is until you believe it.
The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding go out to meet it.
I hope you find your way Katie...there is much more to life than being a drunk.