Update: I've ended it just this morning with ABF. I told him that I need to work on me and he needs to work on him...that the place we're both in right now isn't a healthy or strong enough place to take on the challenge of a new and risky relationship. He agrees, and decided we will check in on each other here and there, but unfortunately need to cut most contact. It was super tough, and I'm still sad...but I did it for me.
I realized that he is still in the place where he is trying to convince himself that his problem isn't all that serious. He shys away from the term "alcoholic," and seems to think that if he just stops drinking on his own it will mean he doesn't truly have a problem. This was a little too scary to me.
Thanks all for ALL of your help and advice, I wish you all the best. You helped me make the best decision for myself, which is something I need to start doing more of...
hugs hugs hugs :-)