If you wouldn't mind staying away from terms like "dramatic" I would appreciate it I came here for advice and shared some real feelings that might seem silly and naive to some, but I would prefer not to walk away feeling judged or foolish :-)
Nothing you said about your ABF sounded silly and naive, Josie. Nothing at all. I was right where you were. I thought I could "save" my exABF where others had failed. I truly believed that all he needed was the "right" woman and nobody was "righter" than me. And he made me feel like the most intelligent, understanding person in the world. We had this "instant connection".
When I finally started to read some of the literature on co-dependence and enabling, the authors of those books used terms like "drama" referring to MY behaviour. My enabling (thinking I could "save" him from himself) often resulted in the creation of high tension and emotion over the smallest things. Enabler and addict feed off each other creating intensity and....drama. I learned both through reading and this forum that I could let go of this drama by:
1. Keeping my own side of the street clean; and
2. Setting boundaries to protect myself.
I think somebody higher up this thread referred you to Melody Beattie's books on co-dependency! Very worth reading and re-reading. You'll never let them go!
ARL