Thank you all.
This past week I moved out of my apt and in with my father for a couple of weeks. I had a job lined up that fell through and after graduating 2 weeks ago. I am job hunting again.
I think that my fear of being alone, broke and homeless is making me nauseous. I love L, but I truly don't want to be married to an active A. I am not jealous of that part. I think it is the whole idea of having a family, stability and a loving home that is getting to me. I also know that he is not all of the sudden better, so he is unstable. I want love and stability. He can't provide that.
I will feel better when I am working and move into a new place. It is very strange to be in my old bedroom and have my clothes spread out everywhere in my room. I feel like I am in high school again. There are twin beds and the room is pink! My stepmother and I do not get along well, so this is a very temporary arrangement.
There are likely more emotional moments to come in the next few weeks, so I am just trying to keep steady when I see them approaching.
Thanks,
Miss