I think I've been walking in your shoes............hope you don't mind my borrowing them, and I'd REALLY like to give them back now!!!
I'm about to say something that may make people mad (though I hope not) so let me preface it by saying this: I agree that this man trampled your feelings, was completely thoughtless and disrespectful, and showed behaviors that absolutely are red flags. I am only 3 months out of a 3-year relationship with an addict, so I'm fully willing to admit that my viewpoint is still warped by the trauma of it all. I just want to share with you what I know/am learning about me, having been in a resoundingly similar situation. If it fits, please feel free to borrow. If it doesn't, feel free to toss. I will be completely un-offended.
I know that I have a tendency to "over-compensate" when I'm fairly fresh out of a sh!tty relationship (where I allowed mtself to be treated in a fashion less than I deserve). Because guy A would trample me (and I allowed it), I go ballistic on guy B the minute he does one small things even vaguely out of line. I am NOT saying that what they do is behavior that I should put up with, but I go way overboard, in typical codie fashion. I go from a doormat to a steamroller. I got trampled, so now I trample. My pendulum swings so far the other way that there's simply no way any man could live up to my standards. I am also currently seeing a counselor. I told her my "picker" is broken and I need to fix it. In the meantime, I'm doing something else I've never done before. I'm CHOOSING not to date. There have been men interested, and I am CHOOSING to take this time for me. I'm 31, I have no kids, I have no man in my life. And yet I'm happy because I'm focusing 100% on ME. Because I deserve it. And so do you.
Whatever you choose to do with NG, try again, no contact, or somewhere in the middle........choose what's best for YOU. You don't owe him ANYTHING. NOTHING. NADA. ZILCH. Do for you. Do for you. Do for you.