Old 05-20-2009, 11:14 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
FunnyOne
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 182
Just hang in there and go through those days. Eventually you will be sick and tired of being angry and confused. Then the clarity will start to seep in ever so slowly like maple syrup through the tap, and it will be just as sweet.

Financially, divorce makes no sense in this economy unless the emotional cost of holding onto the marriage outweighs the fiscal. Filing jointly is a big plus also especially with tuition costs. I put the word out to anyone selling an empty house or condo. I offered them half the cost of an apartment for our area with the agreement that he would keep it clean (he has OCD with a windex bottle), show it when the realtor calls, and vacate within thirty days of an acceptable offer. For folks with a mortgage, losing $400 less a month was a good deal. He used to drink more than that, so it was a good deal for me too. Our contact is usually by email about finances, the kids, etc. No other contact regarding how I am doing, how he is doing, etc. I can think clearly now, the Pain(him) is gone!

Just explain to your husband that it is this or the big D. Then stand back and wait for him to blow the FOG (Fear Obligation and Guilt) at you. Stay strong in your decision and tell him this is the only option you will accept, if in fact it is an option that you think will work for you. It did for me!
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