Originally Posted by
RobinsFly 
AH has been sober for almost one year. He chose not to do AA, support groups, or have a sponsor. He did some counseling, but not 'addictions' work.
Earlier this year I was feeling hopeful. Like we might make it.
Then, his old tendency to blame me for his feelings started up again. As did passive-aggressive behaviors. I totally lost it.
The alcohol is only a symptom. Alcohol was my coping mechanism for many years. I think had I not drank as long as I had, I probably would have blown my head off. I was so uncomfortable in my own skin, I couldn't stand it sober.
It's called alcohol
ism for a reason, not alcohol-
wasm. ISM = I, Self, Me. Selfishness and self-centeredness, that was at my very core. I suffered from a threefold disease-physical, mental, and spiritual. If I do not address
all three aspects, I am not sober, though I may not be drinking. Sobriety is a state of mind along with not drinking.
Your AH is not drinking, but he has done
nothing to address the progression of the disease in the mental and spiritual aspects.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease.
How can two people remain together when only one is actively seeking recovery? I haven't see that work long-term yet, and I've been around the rooms of recovery for 22+ years.
Just my two cents.
:ghug :ghug