Hi Robinsfly,
This is a tough one, and my best advice is to try and not pay attention to what he's doing, and continue to focus on your own recovery. IMO, this is the best way for everything to start falling into place for you. When my AH got sober, I'd been going to al anon for 5 months. In that time, I grew, learned, and he didn't. His behaviour became very intolerable, and eventually applying the al anon principles of detachment etc. wasn't enough and I asked him to move out of the bedroom. And where I hadn't had the strength to do that in the many years prior, I somehow had it then, and it was subtle but powerful and serious. He moved into the basement and started going to AA.
6 months later and he is still in AA, although not as involved in his recovery as I. He told me after a recent couples meeting that he doesn't want to make it his life (the meetings and the focus on A) as some of the other people. I am strong enough in the program now to be able to let his comments go, instead of wondering if he'll ever progress as much as I am.
Basically, as I grow in the program, things unfold in front of me. I seem to know the right thing to do as any given situation arises. Have faith and confidence in your recovery that when the time comes, you will have that same clarity. You will know what to do; if that means leaving him, or staying and working it out. It's tough because we usually look to the future and want it a certain way, and want it to be like that right now. Truth is, we don't and won't know what the future holds, so just focus on today and strip away any expectations.
On the weekend we had a bit of a fight, and his 'old' ways came back. He is passive and opens the door for me to control him. I detached, then I talked about it with him. We ended up clearing the air, in an actual healthy exchange. Continue to work your program in the face of his codependent behaviours. It can only go so far if you don't fuel his fire.