It is a hard realization to swallow I know Cass. I just found it so impossible to accept that a drug could overtake someone, take so much control of a person. It was like watching a thriller movie where the devil takes over a body and we sit there in terror watching.
It kind of shed some light when I really accepted that this maddness coming from my husband was him that had been overtaken by one powerful drug. The questions that haunted me...like why is talking to me this way, why doesn't he see how much he is hurting us.... why doesn't he just stop....because it was not him, it was the drug devil living through him, just like in the movie, terrifying! Nothing we can do to get it out, nothing.
Our hearts still hurt, but accepting that this is not something personal against us, never was or will be, kinda of makes you shed a bit of a different light on it.
Try not to put to much pressure on yourself,
Rose