I hope you find the help and support you're looking for here! As you're finding, even between alcoholics/addicts/etc, there's a disparity on the choice issue.
I'll weigh in on it.. I chose each every drink that passed my lips. Never ever did a supernatural force pour it in me while I was unwilling. I take full responsibility for that, but can see that in the midst of dependency how that might get unclear.
Just my .02
Glad you posted..