Originally Posted by
Piglet123 
Hello all
I wanted to say an extra hello to Daisy09- I think we have a bit in common (although you sound far less pissed off at your husband than I am!)
Can someone help me a bit here- I appreciate on one level that addiction has a lot in common with other diseases, but part of me rebels against this because it seems to take responsibility away from that person- someone CHOOSES to use, or not to use...
Hi Piglet, nice to meet you (although I wish it was under much different circumstances...) I read you're other post as well!
Let me start by saying that yes, I am
very pissed off at my husband, I guess I'm just less vocal about it...he has never done it at home or when around the kids, which I think goes a long way as far as mitigating anger goes.
I really relate to what you're saying about choices. I realize that at this point, it is no longer my husband's choice to have a heroin addiction, but
in the beginning it
WAS a choice. No one forced that heroin up his nose the first time, he made a conscious decision to try it, and that is what has made me angry. I am constantly asking myself how he could sit there, knowing he had two beautiful children at home, and do such a monumentally stupid thing.
M's had a lot of negativity in his life from his mother (a topic way too involved to delve into here) and knowing him as I do I think it will be much more helpful for him to have me be a positive support rather than issuing ultimatums. Not to say that I don't have boundaries set, or that ultimatums are a bad thing in general, it's just not what I think will help him in particular. I think that's the most important thing, for me, that has eased my anger a bit - I'm trying to keep in mind that the ultimate goal is to have him beat this addiction and not start using again, so I'm trying really hard to do what I think will help him achieve this. We've been really fortunate, because other than wasting money we had earmarked for a vacation, nothing really terrible has happened (yet) as a result of his using.
M had been on Suboxone, but ran out and has made an appointment to see an MD to get more (I'll be making a new post in a few minutes about that!) Our kids are really too young to know what's going on. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is something we can take care of before they get much older. Sorry to ramble on so much - I have a tendency to do that. I'm sorry you have to be going through this, too. It's not fun, but I have found this forum to be very helpful!
All the best to you and your family,
Daisy