Hello!
Well i can only talk from the point of view of alcoholism and that should be a choise but isn't i'm afraid, it might have been in the earlier days to a certain extent but after many years the choice kind of fades away and, if you like, it becomes an obsession. Then it is a lifestyle to the extent that you cannot imagine not having that addicition, it affects your choices, your decisions...everything basically...it consumes your life. It's almost impossible to explain this to someone who is not an alcoholic/addict as, to them, it is still a choice so how crazy must it seem, whether alcohol or drugs, that you have to first make the effort to get the money, then go and buy the drugs/alcohol and then take it...over and over again...you would think, at some point, like i am sure you would, **** i'm a drunk/addict...maybe i should put the money back in the bank, not make the phone call etc...
I guess what i am saying, whether you believe it is a disease or not, is that it becomes part of you not just a bad habit, and then once it has got to that stage you are in deep **** and the only way out of it is to make huuuuuuuge changes, with some external help of sorts, which you have said in your other post he is!
If you really do believe it is a choice then that speaks volumes about his behaviour and your relationship, i would take on board some of what Ann said and find out more before you make your mind up on that.
Personally i don't think the ultimatum is too harsh at all, why the **** should you and the kids have to put up with it, speaking from personal experience, there are plenty of cheap places out there to rent in this economy and he could move out until he gets himself straight?! Not enough money, then he should work harder or get a second job!
It's not just alcohol and drugs (i'm sure you realise that there is no difference between painkillers and paying $50 for DOC on the street!), my ex who i am still best friend's with, her husband was a gambler and, holy moly, how badly did that **** her kids up in the head?! Selling the kids games consoles, leaving with no money when kids at 8 and 5 respectively, no cards, no contact...nothing...
Anyways hope it gets better for you and just posting my personal experiences and my opinions, you will get more practical help in family and friends i am certain:-)