I learned a lot about getting a sponsor by trial and error. It wasn't easy that way. Maybe you won't have to do that. I picked the first one just on the spur of the moment. She suggested that she sponsor me, so I agreed with it. Then she promptly began telling my secrets. So that didn't work.
The next one I got to know a bit first. And she really did try. But she wasn't through the 4th step herself, and she'd been clean for 4 years. I should have got somebody who'd done the steps all the way through at least one time, I learned.
Some other stuff to consider, at least for me, were that this sponsor was in a very different situation than me. She got a year off from work, lived with mom and dad, and only worked on recovery for that whole year. Nice, but not possible for me. So she made suggestions to me like "you cannot miss any days of going to meetings or you will pick up." I had to miss some days, as sometimes my job requires a 16-hour double. So she made me feel guilty when this happened. She even asked me to resign my service position because I worked rotating 3-shift work and couldn't be at home group 1 out of every 3 weeks. She wanted me to quit my job for recovery. I am a single mom with a mortgage and a career that will let me retire with a nice pension in 5 years. I've put a lot of time in here. So that doesn't make sense.
So this time, I looked for a sponsor with at least a couple years clean, didn't gossip about others all the time, had something like a job and maybe kids like me, seemed to have some sense, and had done her steps a time or two with her NA sponsor. For me, I wanted someone that I felt I could easily talk with that I liked being around. I didn't want it to be a punishment every time I called her up. I also sought out a woman who didn't have a ton of other sponsees and had enough time to talk to me most days.
This has worked out great! I love my sponsor, and she recently helped me celebrate my first year clean. I am currently working my forth step, and I'm comfortable thinking about reading it to her. I know she'll be helpful and understanding when I share.
Love,
KJ