Thread: Vivid Recovery
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Old 05-06-2009, 08:42 PM
  # 52 (permalink)  
lunarise
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 674
So I had a counseling session today...

It went well I think...brought some stuff up and realized that I have been thinking some pretty interesting things these past few years. Basically, there is some part of me that will not accept that my huzzy loves me. Doesnt matter what he does or what he says, my "rational" lol mind will come up with other reasons why he does the things he does. Example of "rational" thought
He stays with me because he is afraid of being alone, and that any woman would do, that its nothing special about me that makes him stay and do the things that he does.
I have felt this way not just with my huzzy but with others also. I really for the most part dont think that I have a bad self esteem. Anyway we started this whole conversation five minutes before the session was up after I casually mentioned the above and my counselor sat there mouth open almost looking like she was gonna cry. I of course said it all matter of factly. Shrug guess thats partly how I deal with it.

So I didnt exercise or stretch today...but I will meditate and I did do a worksheet on recovery. It kind of bumms me out that I laxed today.

Since I am blah...to try and improve the mood.....
Today I am grateful for....

Losing 13 lbs since I stopped drinking
That I went to my session even though I didnt want to at first
My huzzy....bless him he had a bad day...hug hug
My new Hammock Stand that should be on its way here!
A company that I found to restore some VHS tapes of my moms! I am so excited!
A warm house to sleep in
Cookies to eat
Kitties to pet and love
SR and the peeps that inhabit this land lol
All the options that I have
Music

With that... I am off.... :ghug
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