Welcome Daisy! I’m sorry to see you facing this problem.
Some recovery specialists say that it takes a shock incident to motivate an addicted person to quit. Maybe a car accident, a medical diagnosis or an ultimatum offered by a loved one. It does not have to be the addict’s own inspiration for recovery to begin.
Having said that, the decision to quit is a personal choice, and no matter how much you might want to persuade another person to give up an addiction, or even perceive it as undesirable, ultimately, it is not your choice.
I also believe that opiate addiction is a powerful addiction. This may be a long process for both of you, and it may contain episodes of relapse and multiple attempts at recovery.
Grappling with the dilemma of whether you are being supportive or codependent is seeing things the wrong way. If you react with consequences that are too severe, it will just drive a wedge between you, and treating the addiction lightly may lead him to believe that it’s no big deal. After that consideration, it’s all psychobabble, in my opinion.
I think that you made a good move coming to this section of the website because no one treatment program works for everyone. I also think that treatment needs to be available, it needs to be long enough to change habits and make the lifestyle stick. Further, I’m convinced that individual counseling or group support is important. Rational Recovery dismisses counseling and group support; I disagree.
I have made the decision to quit, and it came largely from looking at all of the negative attributes of my addictive behavior, including the possible health consequences, the damage that it does to loving relationships, and the impaired performance at work and driving a car. I then realized how much happier I feel when I am clean and sober, if for no other reason than the fact that I am clean and sober.
It all starts with a decision. He needs to decide.
Secular recovery programs:
LifeRing
LifeRing Home Page
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy
REBT Network: Albert Ellis | Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy
SMART
SMART RecoveryŽ | Help with Alcohol, Drug, and Other Addictions
SOS
S.O.S. Secular Organizations for Sobriety 12Steps
Drug Addiction Treatment Resources
National Institute on Drug Abuse - The Science of Drug Abuse and Addiction CSAT