For me... a nice meal and clean house just didn't do it. Somehow, my AH used to think that doing things like that made everything ok and that this was supposed to be something that I was grateful for. It might have put things at ease for a bit... but mostly I resented the fact that he "didn't get it" and he thought that he could "win me" that easily. I am a good cook and I can clean my own house... my sanity is worth more. It got old .... but not fast enough!