Not sure what to say by way of reply, except everything I've read in the F&F section has been true, in my experience, and I have the advantage of coming from both places, addiction and codependency.
"personally we belive in being responsible for one's own actions"
As do the folks in the F&F section, we also firmly believe in letting the A's in our lives be responsible for their actions-their choices.
Anything we do to allow the A to escape the consequences of their choices is codependency.
And none of this has anything to do with spiritual/religious beliefs, if you want to get strictly secular this is just psychology.
I think, just like the A's in our lives, we have to learn the lessons ourselves.
Good luck.