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Old 05-04-2009, 10:04 AM
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Daisy09
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 486
Supportive vs. Co-dependent

Hi all,

I had posted on the "Friends & Family" section last week, but I am finding a lot of negativity and hopelessness and I thought maybe I would try over here

Last week my husband started on taking Suboxon. He started occasionally snorting heroin in October after having lost his job of 7 years (job loss was not in any way connected to drug use.) It gradually progressed, and became a daily $100 habit throughout the month of April. He has been on the Suboxon for a week and says he feels really great. I am trying to be positive and supportive (we have two young children with whom I stay at home, so I cannot afford to fall apart myself.)

My problem is, without wanting to bash anyone or anything, that we are not into this whole "turning your life over to a Higher Power" thing. We're Unitarians and believe in the inherent worth and dignity of all people, whatever their problems or issues, and personally we belive in being responsible for one's own actions. All the replies I have been getting on the "F&F" seem to be telling me "Hands off the addict- worry about yourself - make a plan for getting out - it will definitely get worse - he's not the man you married - blah blah blah." I understand that people are trying to be helpful, or think they are, but I don't intend to bail on my husband. Whatever his sicknesses, he IS the man I married, and I think he's doing a great job trying to work on this, and I think that planning an escape would serve no purpose other than to undermine my and his belief in his ability to overcome this. I am NOT "co-dependent" because I love my husband and want to help him work through a very difficult time. Does anyone else feel this way?
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