Katie, if I left SR or more particularly Secular Connections, I wouldn't have anything left to help me. You are part of what's helping me. Do you have something else that can help you stay afloat? While I was gone I saw you found the man you want to marry, can he help you alone? I assume you want to be sober with him to REALLY appreciate and remember each great moment with him, instead of being in an anxiety-ridden state of fog. Do what it takes for that.
You might want to just lurk around for awhile, and then come back when the storm has passed. I went to bed last night after having read a part of Gneiss' post "studying my doc". I was pretty upset by what I had read, and chewed on responses until I fell asleep, I still haven't gotten back to it, and now I wonder if I will even respond. I seem to feel a bad tide coming in on that, that I think I'll let go by, why get worked up and waste my energy?
Do what you need to do,maybe hit the ignore button, I might do that soon too, but I want you to know I am happy to have you here, you're part of what's good for me.