well.....I'm really really gettting tired and discouraged. I'm having trouble believing it is ALL me, although I realize it is partly...
I've seen soooo much pure hatefulness going on lately. In secular, in the 12 step threads and even in Chat....Ive seen a number of posts that seem to encourage people to come to secular and either cause trouble or "save us from our non=AA ways", and I see secular participants responding to 12 step postings almost like there is a desire to stir things up. Jeeez I posted some little one liner stir the pot comment last week....and that really ticks me off at myself!
I hardly bother to post much....it just seems so pointless...like it isn't really going to be helpful to anyone and will probably simply cause more anger and bitter posting. I've gotten irritable and posted a few digs here and there...and that bothers me...so i try to just stay out of it as much as I am able to. But...it concerns me cause eventually that can lead to isolation rather than community which i think is a huge key to my sobriety.
I also posted to the womens forum, was going through a pretty rough time...and there wasn't a single response....of course my post was pretty much and F-you at the end...not a very good way to get people to respond with suggestions and support
Like i said I know this is partly on me.
Even posting this feels wrong, cause just looking back I can see some arragance and some sorta taking other peoples inventory that I'm doing..
I'm utilizing PMs and participating when i can....some days i feel all i can post without it becoming a nightmare is...I'm sober today...
I guess i wanted to post about where i am at today just this once. I hope i havent said things in such a way as to be harmful to anyone or anything...I'm trying here..I really am.