SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - "What do you believe you must do this recovery attempt to remain in recovery"

04-28-2009, 11:18 AM

# 4 (permalink)

CrackQuack

Member

Join Date: Mar 2009

Location: Dayton, OH.

Posts: 879

What a good question. One I have heard the answer to many times. You must put your recovery first, otherwise everything else you are putting in its place risks being lost anyway when you relapse. The problem I find with this becomes my question. If I put my recovery first, like I put the dope first in active addiction, do I not risk losing things anyway? I hear about people, who don't use and don't understand addiction, being angry with the recovering addict for going to all those meetings, doing all that step work, etc. to be in recovery. Some leave the recovering addict. Some addicts cannot get gainfully employed (either because they are too busy putting recovery first or by legal consequences of their past using). Some don't want to become employed or hang out with regular friends because they are working on their recovery. I've seen cases where children STILL get left out because the addict is working on their recovery.
I wonder how the non-addicts could possibly SEE the benefits of putting recovery first.
Ideally I'd love to have recovery first, but the more I try, the more I notice that it upsets the balance of friends and family, just like active addiction. It also upsets the balance of being gainfully employed, and I foresee similar consequences for putting recovery completely first as I did in active addiction.
Which leads me to strive to put recovery first, yet still keep other priorities in the same place. It's a bit stressful, but after several attempts, I've learned what can actually stay 100% number one and what has to bump down a spot or two. Sometimes it IS recovery. Sometimes it is family or work. I understand, in my situation, I simply must make time for both. I cannot handle making three or more number one, but two works out and is more balanced. Recovery will always be ONE of them.
And I've found different ways to stay clean, than what NA would consider normal. I've not been attending many meetings. I make efforts to make at least one a week, but with SR, I have options to be online. Which makes my sponsor nervous. I say, if it works, it WORKS. Whatever you find that works for you, work it. I've still got a lot of things to "work" out and figure out. It's a journey not a destination.
So basically, what works for me, is balancing a couple things on top, getting to meetings when I can, trying to figure out my step work (I am in sort of a rut at the moment), going to SR, and still trying to build back a semblance of the life I once had before drugs.

I know people won't agree with me. Some may. I am only just shy of 90 days clean. But I've found something that works this time around. The last times I tried, I tried to go to far one way or the other and ended up relapsing. This time, it's harder to explain, is different. Whether anyone agrees with me or not is not my problem. My problem is just doing what works for me and sticking with it. Despite a few protests here and there. IF it does turn around and not work out, I'll be sure to let everyone know.