I’m not convinced that getting frustrated or being depressed or feeling anxious are mental problems. They are emotions that everyone feels from time to time, and likely a sign of a healthy mind trying to cope with what is often times a messed up world.
Defining alcoholism is pointless. If someone thinks they are an alcoholic, they probably are. How many people do you know who think they are an alcoholic, but only have, let’s say, one drink a year? Alcohol and drugs cause a variety of problems for a variety of reasons, and the way that people react to intoxication varies widely. If there is a definition of alcoholic in the dictionary, there probably shouldn’t be.
DK, I’ll ask again, why are you torn? If you contemplate this question, you will find the reason why you came to this forum in the first place.