Hey, DK. I just woke up and read the rest of your locked thread.
I saw that you mentioned you aren't physically dependent on alcohol. From the way some folks talk about it here, I'm NOT physically dependent. I never was, even with the amount I drank. I never had the DT’s…I didn’t have seizures…I never had to detox in the hospital.
And cravings. What, exactly, are those? Is that like having a hankering for a cheeseburger? If so, then I’ve never had any cravings. Or at the very least, my cravings were different from that. It was more like an obsession.
It's all in my head. The endless thoughts, the obsessing. As soon as I do have one I keep going. The end goal is getting as messed up as I want to be, whatever that amount is for that particular time. I’m only happy if I hit that goal.
When I don’t have booze I have SR. I’m tired of being on the internet so much. I want to break free from this and I have to wonder if I ever will escape addiction. SR does help me, but I feel like I’m substituting. Why can’t/won’t I do my art instead? I have abilities. Why do I have such creative block?
I don’t know.