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Old 04-24-2009, 09:55 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Ananda
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I think co-dependancy is what we all are...dependent on each other...wether we choose to admit it or not. I don't grow my own food....i buy it from the store...and i do other peoples paperwork in my job so they can focus on somethng else they do well...

I think that what i see as a problem...is when someone's life is centered around trying to control another person...and that often happens in relationships with alchoholics where the drinking is having a negative impact on the people around the alchoholic, and therefore those friends and family CAN become completely focused on how to make that person not drink and get into recovery...or how to keep them from loosing a job or whatever, because of course they don't want to see a person they love hurting.

Its about trying to control things that you can't control.

as far as enabling? Well...i realize it isn't my job to save others from the concequences of their actions, but it also is not my job to make the concequences harder...the concequences will come wether i practice "tough love' or not.

And I beieve my first priority is to help others to stay alive long enough to be able to find recovery...cause basicly...dead people do not recover.
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