You bet it's real.
Just as everyone who drinks and has a bad experience is not necessarily an alcoholic, not everyone enduring a crisis with someone they love's substance abuse is not necessarily codependent. That doesn't mean there is no such thing as an alcoholic nor a codependent, it just means that not everyone is.
If drinking or drug use affects you profoundly to the point that your life is completely dysfunctional and filled with chaos, sadness, depression or pain, then odds are good that you are one of the above.
My name is Ann and I most certainly am a codependent.
Hugs