I think my definition of codependency is totally shaped by the codie thread, and the readings from The Language Of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. I had never given the term much thought before I came here to SR, but shortly after quitting I saw a therapist twice, and she said "You have more codependency traits than alcoholic traits, something else to look into". I thought she was a nut burger from the jump, but when I read that thread it rocked my world. Both of my parents were hard core drinkers, as is the man I married.Everyone in my fam is either an addict or recovering. I still don't know how much I buy in to labels and generalizations, but doing the work from that book is really helping me on my sober path.