With step one I began to see that the parts of my life that are unmanageable and the people and situations that are not mine to manage.
This was a hard thing for me to realize. Because I've been in recovery for so many years, when it came to my teens and AH using years later, I tried to manage their unmanageable lives, therefore causing my life to become unmanageable. Between court detention, treatment, jails for daughter, more court jail and treatment for son. Then AH treatment, crack binges, pill popping, insanity, NA, CR, in a circle. It wasn't til I did all I could do, and I became insane, that I let go. Do I feel grief yes, I miss them all. But my daughter seems to be doing just fine without me, we talk. We wont have the relationship we did as she was growing up, but she is now an adult and I can talk to her on that level. Other son seems to be doing fine without me, he's learning to grow up, I havent heard hes in any more trouble. I will probably be able to talk with him in Aug. AH seems to be just fine without me, he can sneak out on crack binges without me knowing it, he can hide other women a lot easier. But the change in me is I don't tell him what to do or how to get better anymore. I don't have to give ultimatums anymore. I'm powerless over anything they do.
I am powerless over addiction of others, and my life has become unmanageable BIGTIME!!!
Now I'm working on (with HP's help), getting my life back into manageable order.