Welcome to SR kristi, as bballdad mentioned, purity,honesty,unselfishness,and love are the 4 absolutes I have learned in spirituality. I have found all of these in the 12 steps of AA. These 4 absolutes I will never perfect, I progress towards them the best I can, one day at a time, as long as I stay sober and continue to strive to be as honest, unselfish, pure, & loving as possible I am okay.
Progress, not perfection.
BTW I noticed you live in Herndon, I used to live there, lots of good AA & NA there, I know one group called "Stepping Stones" that is really awesome.
Do not become frustrated, beginning to understand spirituality does not happen over night, no one has a full understanding of it. Be kind to yourself, just stay clean and sober, keep an open mind, be honest, & be willing, it will come in time if you work at it.