Triggers:
Cultivating alcohol excellence. I liked to visit breweries, wineries and distilleries. I liked to drink dark beer, small label bourbon from the south, aged rum, various tequilas from Jalisco, triple distilled spirits such as scotch or tequila. I could go on and on about the different kinds of wine, who makes it, where its made, what the difference in taste is, what to eat with it. I would always tell myself “this time will be different” “this time I’ll control it” “I’ll practice the art of moderation”…yeah right. I could have just one THAT DAY. But then the next day it would be four, I think you folks know how this story ends.
Dinner. People have mentioned holidays and weekends…A cocktail at cocktail hour, the correct wine for every course of the meal (including dessert, of course) and I’m smashed again.
Friends who drink. A lot of you folks have talked about intimate relationships. I suppose that’s a mix of coping with bad relationships and possibly just being with someone else who drinks. In my case, it has become hard to hang around with friends who drink. It just seems like I don’t want to say no. Then I end up looking like an idiot because I drank too much.
Working too hard. This is a tough one. A lot of people in construction drink. There is a reason, I believe. You come home, your muscles ache, your joints ache, your feet have been wet all day or you’ve been doing repetitious movements so one part of your body hurts worse than the rest. Then you’ve got to get up and do it all over again tomorrow. Every drink just makes it all fade away into a pleasant hazy reassurance that life is grand. Even if it isn’t.
Coping:
I have a list. Here are some of the problems with alcohol as it relates to your health:
Addiction greatly increases the chance of cirrhosis, pancreatitis, hypertension, malaise, obesity, REM sleep disruption, limbic brain damage, frontal lobe brain damage, certain types of cancer, and cerebral hemorrhage. People who drive with a BAC of 0.1% are 3-15 times more likely to be involved in a fatal car accident.
This is ironic. Working hard is also a coping mechanism. If I work 80 hours this week, I will not have time to drink alcohol. I’ll need my sleep. If I drink, I know I will wake up at 3:00 AM for at least an hour, and I will wake up feeling too tired to even function.
Aerobic exercise. There is a common belief among runners that there is a runner’s high. I absolutely believe this. It doesn’t even have to be running, but anything that brings my heart rate up and keeps it there for a while can cause this feeling. To me, it’s the greatest feeling in the world.
I think of my children. I don’t want them to see me when I drink. I don’t want them to drink. I’m afraid that they will be like me. I can’t have just one. I can have way too much, and I only want more.