There are medications that do work and are not addictive. My Orthopedic Surgeon, My Arthritis Doctor and My Neurologist worked together and still work together to keep me moving and I have been in recovery from Alcohl and drug addiction for almost 28 years.
But, your H has TO WANT RECOVERY and be willing to try non addictive treatment. He might be amazed. Periodically mine will flare beyond what my daily medication can keep a blanket on and I get a Torodol shot which immediately puts the 'blanket' back on. There are 'mild' muscle relaxers that keep taken as prescribed keep the muscles from getting so bad, their are believe it or not, anti seizure drugs like Neurontin, Topamax, etc that keep the nerves from sending the signals, etc
All of this is his to find out, you may want to copy and paste that information and give it to him, and let him find Doctors that are familiar with his type of condition and will work together to give him a fairly good life with pain that is tolerable.
You are very WISE to stay out of it. It is his problem. He can make it worse or better and it is his choice. I hope you continue to take care of you.
I have to tell you a story that is true and what one young man has done. My nephew at the age of 16 had an IMMENSE growth spurt and sprouted from 5'10" to 6'7" in less than a week. What it did to his spine was literally destroy it and he lived with horrible pain, muscle spasms and episodes of paralysis. A wonderful Doctor at his college (Valpriso) got him 'hooked' on Oxycontin and Fentenayl patches. At 21 he was an addict and not by his own choice.
My sister got him to some great doctors, who slowly weaned him and started new treatments for a condition that cannot be corrected surgically and will be with him the rest of his life. He is now 26, fully clean for over 3 years, living with some pain, but very tolerable pain, is about to complete his masters and will have a good life.
So, I say that to show that there is hope. But, if your H chooses to do nothing, the progression will continue and it will only get worse, you are correct.
Now, how do you feel about that? Do you want to live the rest of your life in this chaos? Only you, by working on yourself will figure out what you will need to do for you so that you have a full complete peaceful, and serene life.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care very much.
Love and hugs,