Gwen this is past behavior occurring again. Usual occurs when he has been drinking. Please do as Serenity suggests and call the National Number. You might be surprised at what they can hook you up with where you live now.
I understand you want to bide your time, however, this is not good for the children to see either. Shows your daughter a woman is suppose to be controlled? I think not. Shows your young sone, the wrong way to be 'interacting' with a SO. AND, finally, this type of 'attempting to control' is very TOXIC to your sobriety.
So, please, take the next step and call the National Hot Line, this is ABUSE.
Call me when you can and if you need to.
I will not post here my personal opinion of this 'male specimen' of our species, but I think you already know it, lol
Lots of love, and bunches of hugs,