With due respect, you are also in denial.
I still remember very clearly when I was told that when I first joined and posted several times. I was taken aback by the bluntness of it (thank you Morning Glory) but it was the best, most helpful thing and I really needed to be told that.
I also needed to be "shaken" out of my denial.
Only with that, could I even BEGIN to understand and learn to be educated, think about, and learn to know how to act in a beneficial manner towards the situation I was in.
I still have a long way to go but I shudder to think what may have happened if I had not been given that gift.
YAY for you for going to Alanon!!!!!