I have to agree with other posters, you're role in this really should be quite minimal if at all. Work on yourself, talk about this at AlAnon.. it's almost (by the "lets see what happens!!" comment) a sick game at this point.. I'm not sure what more your'e looking for here. Have you posted in the Friends and Family of Alcoholics forum? They might be equipped to teach you how to set some boundaries and give you a really good idea of what your role might be better played as other than controlling and really enmeshed in her issues. I'd probably really be hurt if my personal emails were splattered all over a recovery site, hopefully she never comes here for support..