Originally Posted by
vividserenity 
I have emotional conflict with my beliefs..they cause me great stress and anxiousness. To not have reason for the things that happen in life... to not have a optimistic view of the eventual outcome is very distressing. This means that anything can happen, to anyone, with out any reason and that's it. Do not pass go..do not collect 200 dollars....do not have peace about how your life or the life of those you love will eventually turn out because alot of it is up to chance. This scares the crap out of me. It is what I believe though....I cant deny that for the comfort of convincing myself that there is some all powerful being out there making sure everything is all right. Because I can tell you its not from personal experience, everything is not all right.
Hey, vivid.
I have anxiety and I've had it for a long time. I don't like feeling like I'm out of control when it comes to the big things.
I used to have religious faith...and when I did it was comforting to me. For the last 8 years or so I've had to learn (and I'm still learning) how to cope with my new thoughts on life and death. It's an adjustment...and honestly to this day I still struggle. It's even harder without alcohol.
Just speaking for myself here--random thoughts…I’m trying to look at things now as though I have a chance to change myself and seek out a happier living experience. I’m trying to not see existence as futile…I get a chance to define for myself what my life means and what I’m going to do with it. I have an opportunity to change my perspective. I hope I can.
Sorry if this doesn’t help, vivid. I saw your post and I felt for ya. Try to take it easy, okay?
