Old 04-08-2009, 01:13 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
CrackQuack
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dayton, OH.
Posts: 879
I don't like the part she wrote about stop worrying about her... Like she is trying to distance herself from you or continue to be in denial about her problem. Like if no one is worrying about her or bringing up the problem, then she can continue to fool herself into thinking she doesn't have a problem.
And don't ever have addicts make a promise. We can't keep them, not in active addiction. And even while clean, I realize what promises I can keep (can I borrow two bucks, I promise to pay you back on Friday- said it to my best friend today to get some tea), and what ones I cannot keep (Mommy, promise me you'll never use again- said by my youngest son, in which I told him I cannot promise to never use again, but I can tell you I will do my 100% best not to and I promise not to use just for today!) Her promise means NOTHING.
And she cannot stay clean for you. I agree with that 100%. She has to want it for herself. I wanted to stay clean for my boyfriend SO BADLY, but I couldn't do it and I can't think I am staying clean for him, even for a second. Because the instant I do, my addiction sneaks in and tells me just enough to drive me over the edge so I can feel the guilt and remorse after the relapse.. No thank you. I have to stay clean for ME. Everyone else can enjoy the clean addict as much as they like, but I am still doing it for me. Even if I am thrilled to be making others happy at the same time..
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