This has been my experience. Once you've tasted recovery drinking/using just doesn't work. To be honest, if it had been working we wouldn't have made efforts to quit in the first place, I think.
It truly is a progressive disease. It only gets worse. I've done my scouting missions and like you, know for sure, first hand, it doesn't work.
The good news is we now go on with our recovery without the doubt. Drinking isn't the answer. I'm so glad you're still with us.
Love,
Lenina