josie25

I left my abf in August when he started drinking again after a full hospital detox and weeks of sobriety - I had told him that this would happen, as I was becoming ill from the stress of his illness. I managed to maintain little contact despite desperately wanting to go back to him, as I realised that the cycle of our relationship was destructive to both of us. I found out in December that he had met somebody else and he rang me on New Years Eve to tell me to move on with my life as he had done so. Since then, I have struggled to cope at all. I found out a couple of weeks ago that he had moved in with this new woman and wanted to marry her which absolutely devastated me. On top of this I heard that he had punched her and been locked up for it, but she has taken him back. I was with him for four years and he never touched me. Last week I received a call from his mum to tell me that he had had two fits and was covered in bruises and had been rushed into hospital. He is now on another detox and my heart is breaking that he is there and I can have nothing to do with him, as I am nothing to do with him anymore.
I know in my head that I did the right thing, but my heart is just not linking up with this. I still desperately love this man, I know that the woman he is with doesn't have a clue what she is dealing with - she believes that when he comes out of hospital everything will be wonderful and he won't drink anymore and they can live happily ever after.
I sit and wait for him to contact me and yet know that he is not going to. I am trying to move on with my life, go out with friends etc, but my heart is with him. If I was able to go back, I know that it would be awful again within a few weeks, as even when he was sober he was very distant and withdrawn.
I honestly don't know what to do or how to feel, but crying day after day is not helping at all. Will I ever be happy and content again???