Thread: Scream therapy
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Old 04-04-2009, 02:56 PM
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Rowan
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Scream therapy

Yes - scream therapy!

I have felt 'blocked' and somewhat detached, depressed, and angry for the last several months. My sponsor had suggested in the past that I might try yelling in my car or in private sometime. I did a couple of times, but only half-heartedly.

Each morning, when I drive to work, I talk to my HP for a couple of minutes, but I'm usually filled with self-loathing as I do, and judge myself for not being to fully express myself. I felt like I couldn't connect with my heart, soul, spirituality, whatever you want to call it.

So - I screamed. I realized that it felt very uncomfortable to do this, even with noone to witness it. So - tentatively, I screamed again. This time, it hurt my throat, but I felt less uncomfortable.

When I gave birth to my first daughter, I barely made a sound despite excruciating pain. I turned it all inward, only because I didn't want to disturb anyone, or to make a spectacle of myself. I had been given the message, growing up, that to make noise or create a fuss was to be wrong, somehow. When the pain became too much, I had to hold a pillow over my face and release my voice into it, even though I couldn't breathe this way.

So I screamed long and loud in the car, imagining that I was giving birth, and remembered how much it hurt. Please forgive me for the graphic nature of this, but I feel as though I have had an epiphany.

I dropped my daughter off last night, and found myself feeling irritable and angry again. So I screamed over and over and felt something shift inside.

Today, I was able to share at a meeting for the first time in a couple of months. I was able to practice Qi Kong movement when I got home, and I have been doing laundry and cleaning house since.

So, if you haven't tried it before, and you're full of pain/rage/fear, what have you got to lose?

:ghug
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